Joy of Choice: Letting Kids Pick Their Path
The Importance of the Sense of Ownership
Some days it feels like homeschooling is all on us. We’re the planner, the teacher, the motivator, and the record-keeper. It can be exhausting, and lonely, trying to figure out the “right” path for our kids.
But often, the best way forward is the one they choose for themselves.
When we step back and let our children take the lead, even in small ways, things change. A reluctant learner finds energy again. A child who resists every suggestion starts to explore with curiosity. What changes isn’t the project itself, it’s the sense of ownership.
Why Choice Matters
For many neurodivergent learners, choice isn’t just a nice extra - it’s essential. Having agency lowers anxiety, builds confidence, and makes space for genuine curiosity. For PDA kids especially, choice can be the difference between digging in their heels and diving into a project.
Choice also taps into something all humans crave: autonomy. When kids feel like they’re in control of their learning, they don’t just “comply” with tasks, they engage with them. And that’s when the real learning happens.
Small Choices, Big Impact
Choice doesn’t have to mean handing over the reins completely. It can start small:
Format: “Would you like to draw this out or write about it?”
Sequence: “Do you want to start with the video or the experiment?”
Role: “Would you like to be the builder or the note-taker today?”
Even micro-choices like these show kids their voice matters. Over time, those small moments build the confidence to take on bigger, more self-directed projects.
When Choice Feels Overwhelming
Of course, too many options can feel paralyzing - for kids and for parents. It helps to scaffold choices, offering two or three clear options rather than a blank slate. Some families also use visual prompts, like picture cards or menus, to make decisions feel more concrete.
The key is striking a balance: enough freedom to feel empowered, enough structure to feel safe.
The Joy of Unexpected Paths
One of the hardest parts of giving kids choice is letting go of our own expectations. Sometimes the path they take looks nothing like the one we imagined. And that’s okay.
In fact, it’s more than okay, it’s where the magic often happens. Kids bring their own passions, strengths, and creativity into projects in ways we could never plan for. That unpredictability is a gift.
A Real Example
I’ve seen this play out in my own home. My PDA child has resisted almost everything I’ve suggested over the years. But when they decided to start their own project, entirely on their own terms, the change was so lovely.
They’ve been building a fictional world from the ground up - writing detailed character descriptions on Character Hub, doing research online, curating mood boards on Pinterest, designing outfits on Dress to Impress, illustrating on Procreate, even creating physical props that involve measurement and design skills.
None of it came from a lesson plan. And yet, it’s full of learning. More importantly, it’s full of joy.
Closing Thought
Letting kids pick their path isn’t about letting go of learning. It’s about trusting that learning blooms brightest when it’s chosen, not imposed. When we give our kids space to follow their spark, we don’t just see growth in skills and knowledge - we see them come alive.
That’s the real joy of choice.
