Celebrating Small Wins in Homeschooling Neurodivergent Kids
If you’ve ever ended a homeschool day feeling like nothing got done, you’re not alone. And honestly, some days are write-offs. But on others, you might realise that your child tried a new food, managed a transition with less stress, or asked a curious question. These are wins. They may not tick curriculum boxes, but they are worth noticing.
Why Small Wins Matter
Homeschooling neurodivergent kids rarely follows a straight line. Progress can look uneven, slow, or completely different from what mainstream schools measure. That’s why it helps to notice the smaller moments. Small wins:
Build self-trust, reminding kids that their efforts matter.
Reduce overwhelm, breaking big goals into manageable steps.
Support regulation, showing that calm, connection, and curiosity are valuable outcomes.
Help parents too, offering a reminder that growth is happening, even if the day feels messy.
What Counts as a Small Win?
The beauty of small wins is that they’re all around once you start noticing them. Examples might include:
Choosing to try a new activity - even for five minutes.
Recovering after a meltdown or stressful moment.
Sharing a thought, question, or joke.
Engaging with a special interest in a new way.
Asking for a break or expressing a boundary.
Managing a daily routine step with more ease than last week.
The Tricky Business of Praise
Here’s where it gets complicated: not every child wants their wins to be celebrated with clapping, cheers, or “Good job!” In fact, for some - especially PDA kids - praise can feel uncomfortable or even create pressure to repeat the behaviour.
Instead of piling on enthusiasm, try:
Descriptive noticing: “You worked hard on that puzzle piece until it fit.”
Shared reflection: “That went more smoothly today - what do you think helped?”
Quiet acknowledgment: Sometimes a nod, smile, or moving on without comment is enough.
Respecting boundaries: If your child doesn’t like attention drawn to their efforts, honour that.
Celebration doesn’t always mean praise. It means recognition in whatever form feels supportive.
Gentle Ways to Celebrate Wins
You don’t need a chart or a tally to make progress feel real. Often, the most meaningful celebrations are simple and flexible:
Storytelling together: Bring up the moment later in the day - “I liked how you explained your idea this morning.”
Snapshot moments: Take a photo (with your child’s okay) to add to a journal or digital album. Later, these become reminders of growth.
Shared sensory breaks: Mark the moment with something calming or joyful, like stepping outside for fresh air, lighting a candle, or listening to a favourite song.
Art as acknowledgment: Invite your child to doodle or create something that represents what they accomplished.
Memory keeping: Keep a family notebook or voice memo log of little wins, so you can look back on them when days feel tough.
Simple presence: Sometimes celebration is just sitting together in companionable quiet, showing you noticed without needing words.
Letting them choose: Ask, “Do you want to mark this in some way, or just leave it?” - giving them the option to move on without fuss.
Don’t Forget Parent Wins
It’s not just kids who deserve recognition. Parents and carers also need to acknowledge their own small wins:
Staying calm through a tough transition.
Adjusting expectations to meet your child’s needs.
Finding one joyful learning moment in a hard day.
Homeschooling is demanding, and noticing your own wins is just as important as noticing your child’s.
Closing Thought
Small wins aren’t really small at all. They’re the stepping stones that build resilience, confidence, and connection - for both you and your child. By noticing and honouring them, you create a homeschool environment where progress is measured not in worksheets completed, but in moments of growth that truly matter.
